Life is Unfair

This is what I kept saying, "life is unfair x3" when an unexpected event hit me today. 

Today, I found myself confronting the harsh reality that life can be incredibly unfair. As someone who strives for high-achieving goals, dedicating heart and soul to my studies, I never imagined that an undeserving twist of fate would rob me of my moment to shine. The girl who aimed for full marks in my Software Engineering final was denied entry to the exam. This experience has hit me harder than I could ever have anticipated.

You might wonder, what's the connection between my aspirations and my inability to sit for the exam? 

So, here is the full context:  CPJ College in Narela, affiliated with IPU, assigned us an examination center 40 kilometers away from home. The examination was scheduled to begin at 10 a.m., with the gates closing promptly at 9:45 a.m. I pride myself on being punctual, always arriving ahead of time. Yet on this fateful day, I arrived at 9:49 a.m., alongside my batchmates. Why were we late? The circumstances were beyond our control. At our usual meeting spot in Jahangirpuri, securing a cab took an unexpected 10 minutes of frantic attempts, with four rides canceled. There was no transport provided by the college, and despite our best efforts, we arrived just minutes after the cutoff.

Upon our arrival, we were met with insensitivity. A guard informed us that the last entry was allowed at 9:47 a.m. Just two minutes—what difference could it have made? We weren't taking the exam lightly; we were genuinely attempting to do our best. A teacher told us a staff member would come to resolve the situation, and we held on to a flicker of hope, but an hour passed without assistance. GOD, WHY US? We reached out for help when an hour passed, even contacting the police—all in vain. It felt like we were being subjected to bullying and harassment, while officials adopted a stern and unsympathetic approach.

They had previously allowed students entry up to 10:15 a.m. during the last exam, so why the sudden change? We felt targeted as they imposed this rigid enforcement. After being denied permission from the IPU's control room, our hopes were dashed. We went back to college, left to grapple with the torment of what had just transpired, suggesting that a mere few minutes could lead to such devastating consequences. Now, it is said that entry will be allowed till 10 am after this event. NOBODY DESERVES THIS! 

As I mustered the courage to discuss the situation with my mother, I couldn’t help but feel immense gratitude for her support during this depressing time. Tears flowed freely, a manifestation of a wound that had deepened—a wound of injustice that is hard to process. The day had started with hope, yet life’s irony unfolded, leaving me questioning everything. Behind every ambitious facade lies vulnerability—who knows when even the most cherished person may fall into despair? Who knows when an extrovert might withdraw from all connections? WHO KNOWS WHAT'S COMING NEXT!!

I accept my part in this misfortune. I should have made alternative arrangements instead of waiting for a ride with a friend. The numbness inside me grows, knowing my mother will be sad, my eyes swollen from crying, and the weight of the consequence bearing heavily on my heart. This experience has become a pivotal and depressing moment in my life.

But I will not succumb to despair. While uttering those three words of frustration—“life is unfair”—I remembered the power of the words and, with resilience, I redirected myself to some positive thought. It tested me in the worst way it could. 

As I found myself alone in my room, my thoughts spiraled.  Questioned everything- my choices, my relationships, my own strength. The thought of an extrovert, once vibrant and full of life, suddenly retreating into silence was a chilling possibility that gnawed at her insides.

In this moment, I silenced my heart's cry, resisting the urge to utter those three words that loomed in my mind. 

Was looking for the answer "Whatever happens, happens for good", but ofc it comes with some cost. 

The test was a profound examination of my emotional core. Took a breath, centering myself, and resolved to rise above the heaviness enveloping me. It was a test of limits. I find myself with the need for someone to encourage me for what I am doing, for the next. I don't like to be needy, nor am I, but for sure, I am tired of being alone for a long time.